


The Unexpected

by heartsdesire456



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-28
Updated: 2011-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-28 09:09:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/306266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neil never expected <i>he</i> would end up being the one to get hurt in the end when it came to how serious his relationship with Cheeks was growing to be in such a short amount of time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Unexpected

**Author's Note:**

> So, I expected this to be another comedy but it ended up taking a serious turn. It's still humorous, but more serious than I expected.
> 
> Also, if you like Brad/Neil, there's a lot more of these on my LJ, they're sort of my recent expression. I would transfer them here, but in just 2011 I've posted 35 completed fics and I can't POSSIBLY transfer ALL of that to here. Not counting everything from 2007-2010.
> 
> This fic can be found on LJ [HERE](http://heartsdesire456.livejournal.com/888171.html) open and unlocked.

Neil never expected _he_ would end up being the one to get hurt in the end when it came to how serious his relationship with Cheeks was growing to be in such a short amount of time. “I just don’t understand, Bradley,” he said softly, stroking a hand through his hair absently.

Brad sighed, pressing a small, sad kiss to Neil’s bare chest beneath his cheek. “Neil… it’s just asking for trouble-“

“You are the most open and dramatic gay man to walk the planet, Cheeks. You have no filter,” he argued weakly. “Why won’t you let me show you off as _mine_?” he asked helplessly. He curled his fingers into his hair and pressed a kiss to his head.

“Neil…” He trailed off with a groan and shifted some, hand resting on Neil’s belly as he lifted his head to look at him. “Honey, I love you,” he pressed, then shook his head. “And I’m so not ashamed of you. You’re gorgeous and amazing and smart and funny and you’re _Neil_ , but things are so hectic for me now. Do you know what kind of shit I’ll have to face if you start dragging me to ‘boyfriend’ type things? Everybody knows I’m friends with you, but they also know I used to date your older brother and they ‘know’ you’re straight. If you start taking me on dates and kissing me in public, I’ll suddenly be ‘using you’ or some other dramatic shit and there’s so much on my plate right now. The next season of Husbands is coming up soon, and I’m working on tons of other things-“

“Brad, I just want to be able to go out with my boyfriend and not have to pretend we’re just friends!” Neil argued. “And fuck it, if they want to think you’re using me to get back at my brother, that’s their business, you know? But I am sick of suddenly finding myself in a closet, Brad. I lived most of my life straight, then you come along and I’m not straight anymore but _you_ , the biggest ‘shout it to the world’ diva out there, are keeping me quiet! You’re effectively shoving me INTO the closet, Brad. I want to be open and honest and most importantly, show off the prettiest partner I’ve ever had,” he stressed.

Brad sighed, kissing his chest. “You will, Neil, just not right now,” he said, closing his eyes. “Mmmm, we’ll talk more in the morning, umkay?”

Neil sighed and closed his eyes. “Whatever.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Neil held in his not-so-secret desire to be out and open like his boyfriend until it came to Adam dragging him along on a shopping trip with Sauli and Sutan to ‘cheer him up’ (aka, be their bag bitch) and he is forced to watch Adam and Sauli holding hands and being cute and Sutan going on about how cute they were.

It wasn’t until they stopped for lunch and Sutan cooed over Adam pulling out Sauli’s chair for him that he finally snapped. “It’s so fucking unfair, my GOD!” he growled, slamming his hand on the table, startling a yelp out of Sutan from his side. “Why? Why Sutan?!” he said, grabbing his shirt as he gestured at them. “Why the fuck does he get to be all fucking sweet to his boyfriend and I CAN’T EVEN JUST BE GAY!” he cried, only to go silent when he realized half the restaurant was staring.

He ducked his head flushing as Sutan glared. “Bitch, now people are _staring_!” he hissed. “Also, what the fuck?!” he added.

Adam cleared his throat. “Neil… are you… upset that you’re not gay?” he asked, looking thoroughly confused.

Neil groaned. “No, I _am_ \- well no, I’m not gay, I’m bi, I guess, but whatever, the POINT is that you can go around with your pretty little blond boyfriend and pull out his fucking _chair_ for him and I can’t even go out to dinner with _my_ boyfriend because he’s the most confusing and irritating little shit out there! I curse the fact I ever fell for that pretty fucking face, oh my God,” he grumbled angrily. “Why do you get all the luck, Adam?! Seriously, did you like… steal all the luck genes when you were born and I was left with the ‘fucked’ genes?!” he asked, a sort of wild glint to his eyes. He let his head fall to the table with a loud thud as he grumbled about ‘fucking big brown eyes’ and ‘stupid fucking pretty face’ and ‘the fuck is wrong with me’ as Sutan gingerly patted his shoulder.

Adam just stared. “Wait… what the fuck, you’re straight! Have been forever-“

“I’m not, Adam, I’m _really_ not,” he stressed in a jumbled mess as his face was smooshed to the wooden tabletop. “I can’t tell you why I’m not or who I’m not-straight with, because he’s a jackass that makes NO sense,” he said, pouting.

Sutan sighed. “Dating boys still in the closet is always hard, sweetie-“

“HA!” Neil cried, sitting up straight with a manic look on his face. “BUT HE ISN’T IN THE CLOSET!” he hissed venomously. “He’s so far out he’s practically back in ANOTHER closet! A closet full of GAY! Hell, he’s so far out of ‘THE’ closet that he’s all the way through a closet full of gay and halfway to fucking Narnia, he’s THAT out!” he cried.

Adam just stared. “Well I’m going to just pretend that made sense,” he said, sliding his hand into Sauli’s on the table. “Don’t worry, I won’t let him eat you,” he joked and Sauli giggled at his statement.

Sutan hummed. “So… why is he making YOU stay in The Closet if he’s not in there with you having tons of secret sex?” he asked, and Neil whined.

“He apparently likes visiting The Closet for sex,” he said, slumping as he developed a depressed look. “And I don’t get it, cause he’s the most out of outness you can ever achieve!”

“Well, did he at least give you an explanation?! That’s really fucked up,” Adam said, then cringed. “Also, that sounds like a cheater move if I’m honest-“

“He would never cheat on me he loves me!” Neil defended angrily. “He isn’t like that! He’s an honest, amazing person-“

“Okay, okay, damn!” Adam said, holding up his hands. “Maybe he’s not, but seriously… just… think about it,” he said gently. “He’s out but won’t let YOU be out with him. I mean, it’s not like your atrocious or anything. I mean, you’re ugly, sure, but I’ve seen way uglier guys and their dates weren’t embarrassed to be seen with them,” he comforted and Neil just stared at him angrily. “But does he have an explanation?”

Neil sighed. “He says he’s too busy and he doesn’t want the stress of people suddenly knowing he’s dating _me_. He knows that people know all about us all being friends, but he doesn’t want people to think he’s using me to piss you off because that’s _totally_ the conclusion they’ll jump to-“

Sutan gaped. “Are you dating _Tommy_?!” he asked, and Neil gaped.

“Ew, NO!” He shuddered. “Never in a million years. Plus Tommy’s straight,” he said, and Adam laughed.

“Yeah but you were too until ten minutes ago,” he said, and Neil rolled his eyes.

“Actually, as of three months, two weeks, and four days ago,” he said, only to look up when he realized how detailed he had gotten.

Adam snickered. “Know the hours too?” he teased and Neil flushed slightly. Adam gaped. “Oh my God, you _do_!” he accused and Neil whined.

“Three hours, give or take a few… we admitted we were into each other after he stayed at my apartment and we woke up all cuddled up and neither one of us wanted to let go,” he admitted bashfully.

Sutan sighed. “Awww, that’s so sweet.” He snorted. “Definitely not Tommy,” he said and Adam snorted but nodded.

“Yeah not him at all. If he ever went gay, he’d still be too much of a dude for that,” he said, and Neil shuddered.

“Tommy is gross. I’ve seen the dude go four days without a shower,” he said and they all shuddered.

They paused as the waitress brought them their drinks before Sauli grinned, leaning closer to the table. “So Neil, what’s he like? This guy you’re dating,” he said, and Neil sighed, shaking his head.

“He’s perfect for me. Honestly, I can’t think of anybody I’ve ever met that was half as amazing,” he said, and Adam made faces while the other two gave simultaneous ‘awww’s.

“Neil, this is wrong, you’re not meant to be gay. You’re _Neil_!” Adam pressed. “Are you _sure_?” he asked and Neil rolled his eyes.

“Did I give you shit when YOU came out?” he asked, and Adam shrugged.

“No, but that wasn’t a surprise, was it? I’m maybe not as flamboyant as some but I’m pretty damn stereotypically gay still, just more masculine about it,” he said, and Neil snickered.

“True,” he admitted. “But really, you can’t honestly expect me to claim I’m into dudes when I’m not. Seriously? Really?” he asked.

Adam shrugged. “It’s just creepy. You’re my straight brother. Have been forever. It’s not normal to think you aren’t,” he said, looking off into space, then shuddered. “Ew, you would fail at being gay so hard. Not like, I’m not judging you for your sexuality, that’s your thing, but seriously… you dress bad, you are so far from well groomed, you’re a dick to everybody about most everything, and you are such a _boy_ ,” he said.

Sutan shrugged. “Some guys like a manly boyfriend. I could dig it,” he said, looking at Neil. “And you’re not that bad. I mean… you’re cute, you’re actually sweet when it counts, and you’re funny-mean, not actually hateful. I can see the appeal in a way,” he said, and Sauli chuckled.

“I hate to tell you, Adam, but you guys look very similar,” he said, and Adam made a face. “He’s definitely cute. And I’ve dated really butch guys before, and you’re sort of butch yourself,” he said and Adam shrugged.

“Different between masculine and ‘dude’,” he said, and Sauli rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, it’s totally possible for some man to like your brother, you just don’t see it cause you’re his _brother_ ,” he said. “Hell, your type of boy would be the type of boy that’s into Neil,” he said, and Neil suddenly snickered.

“It really, really is his type,” he said, biting back a full on laugh.

Sutan grinned. “Tiny and cute?” he asked and Neil nodded. “What’s he like?” Sutan asked. “Like, you said he’s perfect for you, how?”

Neil shrugged awkwardly, looking bashful. “He’s really smart, and he’s really quick witted so we can keep each other on our toes. He is actually interested in some of the things I am, and could actually answer if someone asked who the secretary of defense is,” he said, and Sutan made a face.

“So he’s a little geek? A pretty geek? Really?” he asked and Neil glared.

“He’s not a geek. He’s totally a little party animal, he’s ridiculously flamboyant in the most hilarious way, and he has no filter, like… at all. I love it.” He shrugged. “It’s not like he turned me gay or something, I just met a really amazing person and it didn’t matter. I started falling for him lately, but we’ve been friends a few years. We just started getting closer lately.”

Sutan smiled. “Awwww, so what’s he look like? You said tiny and cute, but like… is he short tiny or all around tiny?” he asked. “Or TommyJoe Tiny where he’s just small, not ACTUALLY tiny?” he asked.

Neil chuckled. “He’s short and petite and thin so he doesn’t look skinny and he doesn’t look that short since he’s proportionate, but he’s a good six inches shorter than I am.”

Sutan hummed. “Pretty tiny boys. Although all ya’ll are little fuckers next to me,” he said, rolling his eyes. “How pretty are we talking? On a scale of one to ten- one being Perez Hilton, ten being TommyJoe,” he said, and Neil cringed.

“Seven thousand,” he said, rolling his eyes. “God, why do you all put Tommy at the top of the pretty scale? The dude’s not that pretty,” he said, and Sauli snorted.

“I’m jealous of his jaw line and his cheekbones and his lips and I’m pretty sure I’m not exactly ugly,” he pointed out.

“Prettier than Tommy?” Sutan asked and Neil nodded emphatically.

“God yes, like… a billion times prettier. He’s got the most beautiful face I’ve ever seen on a man. I mean, maybe I’m biased, but he has the most perfect smile on anybody I’ve _ever_ seen, man or woman. And he looks like a boy, for one. He’s pretty in a soft way but he’s definitely a man,” he said, and Sutan shook his head.

“I can’t imagine it. Somebody pretty but masculine that isn’t Tommy-“

Adam cut in. “That’s apparently ‘a billion’ times prettier,” he added, and Neil shrugged.

“He is. He’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” He sighed and leaned back in his chair. “I just want to show him off. I mean, how fair is it my _publically out_ boyfriend is keeping me in the dark when all I want to do is show him off and like… take him on dates and sappy shit I’ve never wanted to do before?!” he asked sadly.

Sutan just snorted. “His loss, kid. His loss,” he comforted.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Brad was absently braiding Tommy’s hair while Sutan painted his toes as they watched the movie Tommy had brought, cringing when the person on the screen got killed. “You are the weirdest little shit ever,” he said, shaking his head.

Tommy smirked. “All the boys tell me,” he said, batting his eyelashes dramatically. “Well, that and that I’m the prettiest boy and they want to fuck me and then they get bummed when I’m all ‘whoa dude, it’s all for fun, I’m not into that’,” he added.

Sutan jumped. “OH!” he said, pointing at them with the nail polish brush. “You two will NEVER guess what gossip I got shopping with Adam yesterday!” he said in a rush, bouncing.

Tommy raised an eyebrow. “What? Somebody get a dick piercing?” he asked, and Sutan rolled his eyes.

“What is it with you and wanting to see a dick piercing?! God no!” He took a breath then squeaked excitedly. “NEIL is GAY!” he said, and Tommy sat upright, gaping.

“WHAT?!” he cried, and Brad’s jaw dropped.

“ _Who told you_?!” he cried. “Oh my God, I’m going to kill him. I’m going to kick his ass so hard-“

“Um, you know?” Sutan asked curiously.

Brad blinked, then cleared his throat. “He told me and said it was a secret and- and I had to hold it in,” he said, thinking fast.

Sutan smirked. “He let it slip really dramatically. I guess he’s been keeping it in for a while.”

Tommy frowned. “Why? Why did he not tell anybody he’s gay?” he asked.

Sutan laughed. “That’s the best part! Okay, he isn’t really _gay_. He got bent, sort of,” he said, making a face. “Basically, he met a guy and fell for him,” he said, and Tommy grinned.

“Neil actually said he _fell_ for a guy? Whoa,” he said, shaking his head.

“It was frightening and sad and adorable, really,” Sutan said, then bounced. “So basically Adam just pulled out Sauli’s chair for him, he does it a lot, he’s a total gentleman to that boy-“

“Continue,” Tommy prompted and Sutan smirked.

“Well Neil just EXPLODES, you guys! He’s all shouting and crazy-eyed about how unfair it is that Adam gets to be sweet to his boyfriend and Neil can’t even be open with his!”

Brad blinked. “What?” he asked and Tommy raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean? He’s dating some guy who’s not out?” he asked, and Sutan shook his head.

“No, that’s the crazy part, he says he’s as out as one could get, like… out and proud and all that stuff, but he’s ‘too busy’ to handle Neil being out with him,” he said, and Tommy frowned.

“What the fuck?”

Sutan shrugged. “Honestly the way he put it, saying the guy didn’t want people to assume he was using him to get back at Adam, we really though it was you,” he said, and Tommy burst out laughing.

“Oh my God, ME?! Dude, you think even if I was gay, I’d go for _Neil_?!” he asked, doubling over.

Brad frowned. “Hey, what’s wrong with Neil? He’s a sweet guy,” he said, and Sutan smiled.

“He is sweet, but he’s _Neil_ ,” he said. “It was so sad,” he said, and Tommy tilted his head. Sutan continued. “Adam suggested it sounded like he was a cheater and Neil jumped to this guy’s defense, going on and on about how he’d never do that and how he was the most perfect boy ever and he’d never cheat on anybody. He like, really got pissed at the insinuation,” he said, and Tommy smiled.

“Aww, poor Neil. Did he describe him?” he asked eagerly.

Sutan nodded. “A little guy, tiny and adorable. Seriously, it sounds like you, but we know it isn’t because when we asked about the guy’s looks on a scale of one to TommyJoe, he said he was ‘a billion’ times prettier because you’re not that hot,” he said, and Tommy scoffed.

“Asshole,” he said, and Brad smiled.

“He said his boyfriend is a billion times prettier than TommyJoe?” he asked, shaking his head. “Nobody is prettier than TommyJoe!”

Sutan shrugged. “This guy must be amazingly beautiful. Neil says he’s the most beautiful man in the world. He went on about how he was so smart and sweet and funny and beautiful that Neil couldn’t believe he got so lucky. He described the guy’s smile as the best smile in the whole world,” he said, and Tommy smiled sadly.

“Wow, he sounds totally over the moon for this dude,” he said, and Sutan nodded.

“Yep, and apparently all he wants is to take his boyfriend on dates and show him off and treat him right but this guy won’t let him even tell everybody they’re together,” he said, then sighed. “I hate to say it, but I’m pretty sure he’s in love with an asshole,” he said, and Tommy shook his head.

Brad just pouted. “He’s that upset over it?” he asked, and Sutan nodded.

“I think we managed to convince him to at least allow for the possibility he’s dating a cheater. I mean… that’s the only thing that makes sense! If he’s out and proud, he shouldn’t have a problem letting a man who basically just wants to worship him take him to dinner. Neil’s a sweet man and it’s shitty that he’s in this situation.” He cringed. “And he’s so adamant that the guy loves him. He was all ‘he loves me, I know he does’ even though this guy’s driving him insane.”

Brad just bit his lip. “But he said the guy said he didn’t want to be stressed, right? He said he didn’t want people to think he was using him against Adam, right? I’m sure there’s a reason people would think that-“

Tommy scoffed. “Oh come on, imagine if _you_ were Neil! Imagine being so in love with someone that you pretty much think they hung the moon, imagine being so in love that all you want to do is show the world that YOU got lucky enough to have them, and then imagine they’re OUT but won’t be out with you? Can you _imagine_ a guy shoving you back into the closet with some flimsy ass excuse about stress?” he asked and Brad’s face paled. “Exactly. This jerk is hurting Neil. Sure, he’s gross, but he’s a good man at heart,” he said, shaking his head.

Sutan nodded. “The poor guy. I thought he was going to cry when we really got him to start considering the idea that the man may be cheating on him. I figured tonight he’d come hang out, but he said something about not feeling up to it after this afternoon. I think he’s really hurt.”

Tommy shook his head with a dark look. “Maybe he’ll leave the bastard and find somebody who thinks Neil’s worth a little stress. Seriously, Neil may be more of a ‘dude’ and he may be a snarky shit, but he’s Adam’s brother so I can only assume he was raised with the same manners and all he probably wants to do sappy shit like open doors for his boyfriend, and take him out to dinner, and hold his hand over the center console or some other sappy, gentlemanly shit that I’ve seen Adam do for Sauli,” he said, and Sutan nodded.

“Neil knew down to the _hour_ how long they’ve been together, Tommy,” he said, and Tommy just gaped. “If I’m not mistaken, he said it was three months, two weeks, and-“

“Four days,” Brad said in a hollow voice, staring at the coffee table with a pale, horrified look on his face.

Sutan raised an eyebrow. “Well… yeah. Damn, you know the math for-“

“It’s you.” Tommy cut Sutan off with his simple statement, staring at Brad knowingly.

Sutan’s eyes bugged out and he gaped. “YOU?!” he cried in shock. “Wait, so Neil Lambert, big snarky shit, is shit-brained crazy over some jerk, and that jerk is sweet little Bradley Bell?!” he asked in shock.

Brad just blinked, snapping from his dazed to look up with a pained expression, eyes going glassy. “I’m a terrible boyfriend,” he squeaked, bottom lip trembling as if he was about to cry.

Tommy raised an eyebrow. “Hell yeah you are, what the fuck, Cheeks? You are the most open and honest guys around!”

Brad whimpered. “But you’re never supposed to date the best friend or brother of an ex to avoid shit, especially not when one of them is _famous_!” he gushed. “And- and Neil seemed annoyed but I didn’t think he cared that much that we weren’t out and open, and- and he’s _Neil_! Neil hates people, why would he want to take me out somewhere?!” he pointed out. “And he said! He said he wasn’t happy but I thought he just wanted to stop lying to his mom about not having a girlfriend, and I was going to tell him soon that that’s okay, just… just tell his parents, but- but I’m horrible!” he said, blinking when a tear finally escaped from behind his long eyelashes. “And now he’s going to think I’m _cheating_ on him!” he cried, giving Sutan a narrow eyed look.

Sutan held up his hands. “Hey bitch, you’re the one who has the man wrapped around your little finger and you’ve never noticed how much he cares, not me,” he said pointedly.

Tommy snickered suddenly. “Oh DUDE! You’re totally fucked! Leila’s gonna kill you cause now, within a six year period, you’ve gone and broke both her kids’ hearts!” he said, and Sutan rolled his eyes.

“Tommy, that’s not very tactful-“

“It’s _true_! Leila is a fierce woman when it comes to her kids, dude! She got over it the first time cause it was a mutual thing and all, but now he’s REALLY fucked up! Neil’s her baby, dude-“

“Do you think for a second I give who shits what his mother thinks?!” Brad snapped, wiping at his eyes fiercely. “I have to go,” he said, jumping up. “Oh my God, I have to apologize, I have to- I can’t lose him,” he said weakly, stumbling around as he dragged on his boots. “I have to make him forgive me,” he said, then actually ran out of the apartment, coat flying behind him.

Tommy hummed and Sutan rolled his eyes. “Drama llama, huh?” he asked, and Tommy grinned.

“Your mama’s drama llama,” he confirmed and Sutan chuckled, rolling his eyes as he pushed Tommy down again, snagging his feet.

“God, I’m getting too old for this shit,” he said, and Tommy sighed.

“Yep. We’re both middle aged now,” he said, earning a dark look from Sutan.

“I’m going to trade you in on Neil,” he threatened, picking up the nail polish again.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Neil sat, staring at the picture of him and sleeping Cheeks on his phone, sighing as his thoughts wrestled with his feelings. He knew what Adam and Sutan had said made sense. It made more sense that something wasn’t right with the fact Brad didn’t want to be out with him than ‘I don’t want the stress’ did as far as simple logic went.

The problem was that his heart refused to accept logic. His heart only knew that having Brad was the best thing that had ever happened to him. His heart only understood that he loved him.

He was interrupted by a knock on the door. He saw how late it was and got to his feet immediately. When he got to the door, he was surprised to see Cheeks standing there, hair wet from the rain. “Cheeks? It’s after midnight, are you alright?” he asked, taking his hand to pull him inside.

After locking up, Neil turned around to see Brad shifting from foot to foot awkwardly in front of the couch tugging the sleeves of his sweater down over his hands nervously. “Um… I was at Sutan’s,” he offered, and Neil raised an eyebrow, but nodded going to sit, gesturing for Brad to do the same. He sat gingerly and turned to face Neil, hands in his lap as he curled one leg under him, the other foot on the floor. “So… he- I-“ He paused and then shook his head. “He told us about today,” he said and Neil frowned. “About- about the freak out at the restaurant.”

Neil cringed. “I never said your name, don’t worry,” he said, and Brad made a broken noise in his throat, clenching his eyes shut. “Seriously, Brad, you don’t have to worry-“

“I’m sorry,” Brad choked out, looking up at him through wide, sad eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he said, and Neil just stared.

“What- what about?”

Brad choked out a broken laugh. “Well he said that you were so in love with this guy and that he and Adam thought your boyfriend’s cheating on you, and Tommy agreed and I just- I can’t-“

Neil’s eyes widened and his jaw clenched. “Oh,” he said, and Brad’s eyes flew open.

“NO!” he cried, hands flying out to grab Neil’s. “God, _no_ , Neil,” he stressed shaking his head. “I’d never cheat on you! I don’t think I could!”

Neil let out a relieved sound. “Thank God, I just- it fit. It fit so well when nothing else really did. I mean, I get it, I just was so worried-“

Brad whimpered. “I’m an asshole, Neil. I’m so horrible to you. I’m the worst boyfriend ever-“

Neil tilted his head and shook it. “Brad, no,” he said, reaching out to cup his cheek. Brad whimpered, eyes clenching shut as he pressed into the touch. “You’re not horrible to me, you’re just busy-“

Brad opened his pain-filled brown eyes and swallowed hard as he looked at Neil. “You knew to the _day_ how long we’ve been together, Neil. You gave me a billion on a scale of one to TommyJoe-“

“Oh my God, he’s not that pretty,” Neil groaned, dropping his hand and Brad laughed weakly.

Brad caught Neil’s hands and held them in his lap. “My amazing, wonderful, crazy boyfriend freaked out in a jealous fit because he wants to take me on dates and spoil me and show me off as something special and I thought it was okay to make him _not_ ,” he said guiltily. “That’s horrible, Neil. That’s so terrible of me,” he stressed.

Neil sighed. “It hurts. I won’t lie, Bradley, but it’s okay. I will wait however long you need me to-“

Brad sniffled and shook his head, tugging Neil’s hand from his lap to press to his chest. He held onto Neil’s wrist, Neil’s palm splayed on his chest. “This is all I need from you,” he said. He laid one hand flat over Neil’s hand, the other still on his wrist. “You feel that?” he asked in a tiny, broken voice. He could feel Neil’s pulse through his wrist and smiled when it slowly synced up with his heartbeat beneath Neil’s palm. “This is yours. Only yours. All I need is for you to take it, Neil. Every single beat of my heart, it’s all yours,” he whispered. “And I’m so scared that in being an idiot… I’ve made you not want it anymore.”

Neil shook his head. “No,” he said hoarsely, fighting the lump in his throat. “I’ll always want it, Brad. Always, I promise,” he said and Brad smiled weakly.

“Whatever you want. Anything. Anybody, anywhere, anything just- I owe you the boyfriend you deserve.” He smiled when Neil leaned closer. “You only ever wanted to love me and I wasn’t letting you and I’m so sorry-“

“Forgiven,” Neil said, forehead pressed to Brad’s. His breath brushed Brad’s lips as he spoke. “All I want is to make it clear that I’ve got the most perfect partner in the world. I just want to show you how much I love you. I just want to give you everything you deserve. You should have every romantic gesture possible,” he whispered, and Brad blinked, swallowing hard.

“I never suspected you would be so romantic,” he admitted and Neil smiled bashfully.

“For you,” he said, then closed the millimeters between them to seal their lips together. He took his hand from Brad’s chest and tugged Brad’s hand to his, placing Brad’s hand over his heart just as Brad had done him. “You have had it for even longer than three and a half months. You’ve had it for so much longer and I just didn’t-“

Brad shut him up the only way he knew how, kissing him tenderly, fisting his hand in Neil’s shirt. “I’m more in love with you than I’ve ever been before, Neil Lambert. Nothing has ever felt this way,” he said, taking a weak breath before opening his eyes, only to see Neil’s eyes shut as his breath shudder. “Neil?”

“I hoped it was mutual,” Neil admitted, voice weak as though his throat had gone dry. “Brad-“

Brad surged forward, kissing him for all he was worth. Neil slid his hands to Brad’s sides, tugging him closer until Brad was clinging to his shoulders. Neil stood abruptly, breaking the kiss, only to snag Brad, pulling him to his feet before he got his bearings back. Brad caught his wrists, holding on as Neil guided him away from the couch with hands on his hips only to scoop him up as soon as he was free of the clutter. Brad gasped but went with it, wrapping his legs around Neil, clinging to him as Neil carried him to bed, trading small kisses as they went.

Neil deposited him on the bed and kissed him slowly and firmly as he made quick work of stripping him. Brad let Neil strip him and then rid himself of clothing while Brad crawled back up to the pillows. He knew he was breathing raggedly when Neil crawled up the bed to him, stealing his lips as soon as he was hovering over him.

Brad gave him a loving smile, sliding his hands over Neil’s curls before sliding down the sides of his neck and over his shoulders as he watched Neil’s eyes slip shut at the sensation. He smiled as he kissed him, using gestures rather than words to tell him how much he loved him.

Neither of them used any words at all. They used their bodies and their lips and their eyes to convey every message needed that night. As they made love, neither needed to hear words to know they were loved. Heated looks, scorching kisses, and a flagrant tenderness exhibited by their touches was enough express every intention necessary.

When they came together, orgasms overlapping so that it was hard to tell when one began and the other ended, leaving them both seeing stars for several moments, the only word uttered was a tiny ‘wow’ from abused lips as they lay together, bodies entangled in an embrace that would find them unmoved when morning came.

Epilogue: _four days later_

Brad felt nervous. It wasn’t like he was meeting Neil’s mother for the first time, far from it, he’d known here for years.

But it was the first time Neil was going to be let his mother know that he was not only in a relationship with a man, but that man was Brad.

As they waited for her to answer the door, he knew she wasn’t expecting him, just Neil. When she met them both there, she just smiled. “Well this is a nice surprise!” she said, leading them inside.

When they all settled in the living room, Neil bit his lip. “Mom… I wanted to tell you something,” he said, and she nodded expectantly. “I’m- I have a boyfriend,” he said, and she raised an eyebrow.

“You do, huh?” she said, not looking terribly surprised when Neil laced his fingers together with Brad’s, sharing a nervous smile with him. “So, how long…” she trailed off and Brad smiled shyly.

“Three and a half months,” he offered and Neil grinned.

“Three months, three weeks, and one day,” he corrected, and Brad gave him an adoring look.

Leila just rolled her eyes. “Well, there goes my hopes of being a grandmother,” she joked, then stood up. “Alright, well, we can talk more later, but I’ve got food cooking,” she said, and Brad kissed Neil’s cheek before standing up.

“Let me help you,” he offered, jogging after her, catching up in the hall.

“Thanks,” she said, letting him have a knife to help her chop up vegetables. “So… what made Neil decide to tell me now?” she asked, and Brad cringed.

“It’s my fault he waited,” he said softly. “I was just- I was so stressed and I knew as soon as we came out he and I would both get a lot of attention and I wasn’t ready. I thought it was okay to make him wait, but when I realized how much it was hurting him to hide something that made him so happy from everybody he loves, I felt horrible and I told him he didn’t have to keep it quiet anymore, we could tell the world,” he said, cringing. “He’s so much happier already, I can tell.”

Leila hummed. “I already knew,” she said, and Brad startled and looked up, nearly chopping his finger off in the process.

“What?!”

She shot him a flat look. “He’s my son, Bradley. I’ve known him his whole life. I knew that recently he’s been different. He’s happier, he’s got this weird, dazed look in his eye, and then the last time I saw him, he seemed like he was DYING to say something. I just didn’t really expect it to be a man, since he’s only ever dated girls,” she said, then shrugged. “REALLY didn’t expect it to be you.”

He hummed awkwardly, not commenting. Leila took it as her sign to continue. “You know if you hurt him, I’ll never forgive you, right?” she said, and he looked up, eyes wide. She gestured with the chopping knife in her hand. “Finish those carrots,” he said, then slammed her knife down, chopping an onion in half a bit pointedly. “I forgave you for breaking Adam’s heart because you two made a mutual decision to be friends instead of boyfriends and I respected that because I never expected you to last,” she said, and he gave her a curious glance.

“You knew from the start we wouldn’t make it?” he asked, and she smiled knowingly.

“Honey, I’m a mom. You guys were too young, and it was too quick. I knew from the start it would fail because I know my son and I knew he was so far from ready to find the guy for him then,” she said, then narrowed her eyes. “I forgave you then, but I swear to you right now, if you break my baby’s heart, you’ll never be forgiven,” she said and he gulped fearfully as she gestured with her knife. “Neil isn’t a dater. Neil has never brought a girl home. Hell, he’s had SO few girlfriends. I’m pretty sure you two have already been together longer than any girl he dated because he’s a particular boy and it takes certain people to get along with him,” she said and Brad smiled nervously.

“He’s amazing, though. I mean… he’s so smart and funny. Everybody else thinks he’s a jerk, but I just think he’s charming,” he said and she nodded.

“Exactly. You two have been friends for ages. You understand him. Hell, you remind me of him some, and you seem to have similar interests,” she said, then nodded. “But Neil has never been like this for anybody. I saw just then, for a few minutes I saw how he looks at you and I’ve never seen anybody look so in love,” she said and Brad smiled shyly. “Clearly, you guys have something. If you hurt him, and you could, you clearly have his heart in your hands to do what you want with-“

“I do have his heart in my hands,” he said seriously. “And my every intention is to keep it safe because he has mine in his and if I let him slip away, I’ll never get it back,” he said sincerely. “He looks at me that way because I want every part of him and he knows it.” He ducked his head shyly. “He’s always been sort of special to me and then when we got together it was like… it was like everything fell into place.” He gave her a meaningful look. “I won’t hurt him on purpose. Not again. He’s too amazing.”

She just smiled. “Good to know. Just know, if you do, I’ll definitely have your balls,” she said, nodding as she gestured with her knife. He cringed and she smirked, going back to her business.

“So, what’re you guys doing?” Neil asked, coming to stand in the doorway, hands on the top of the door casing.

Leila rolled her eyes. “Neil get your-“

“Nasty hands down from there,” Brad said, then looked at Leila in surprise, only to laugh with her.

Neil just rolled his eyes and pulled his hands away. “Great, you’re in cahoots with my mother now,” he said, walking over to hop on the counter beside Brad, stealing a piece of carrot.

“Neil, off the counter,” Brad said, slapping at his leg.

Neil whined and pouted and Brad fixed him with a _look_. He gestured for him to get down, shook his head when Neil whined, and smiled when Neil begrudgingly slid off the counter. “You’re evil,” he said, and Brad smiled innocently up at him.

“Love you too, babe,” he said, squeaking when Neil darted in and stole a quickly kiss. “I’m holding a knife!” Brad cried, laughing when Neil walked away, going to raid the fridge. “You are such a boy, Neil Lambert.”

Neil just snorted, half inside the refrigerator. “You like it, don’t even joke.”

Brad just smiled, biting his lip. “I like you,” he confirmed, ducking his head under Leila’s knowing gaze.

Neil just laughed. “Love you too, baby,” he called, making Brad’s smile brighten just a bit more.

(comments also welcome at the post on lj [HERE](http://heartsdesire456.livejournal.com/888171.html)) 


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